Phantom

Perhaps everything is just like a play of drama.

Maybe it's the loneliness that lead to passionate.

I'm really fatigue in this situation and relationship.

There ain't any intention for you to take me serious.

I still smile like a child when I recall those days.

At least it provides me warmth in the coldest night.

Do you ever value me as the special one?

I thought people confess when they're drunk.

I remember each drunken word you've told me.

But the next day you never remember a single word.

I convinced myself it's fine, as long as I show my heart.

I thought I see hope for every action you did.

Till then I know I'll never get an answer for my question.

Because you never care.

When I miss you

I listen to this song repetitively.

It reminds me of you.

煤氣燈不禁影照 街裡一對蚯蚓 照過以兩心相親 一對小情人

沉默以擁吻抵抗 一切的冰與冷 晚意借北風 輕輕的飄起長長裙

多溫馨 心裡 風中那笑聲 淌淚

嘗盡了失意的我 將一切都退去 再到這風中心中 竟仿似傷痕纍纍

然後再憶記起 當晚跟你在這裡 相依相擁中 交出的心早已失去

失去 已破碎 不可以再追 灑淚 Don't worry Don't worry Baby

今天今天星閃閃 剩下我北風中 漆黑中帶著淚

念當天當天 跟他一起的每天

今天今天星閃閃 剩下我漆黑中 北風中帶淚悼念

當天的心 歡欣 再也再也再也不見 一切已失去 不可以再追

一切已失去

Paranoid

You made me feel like I'm in love.

I thought I'm holding on a red rose.

I want to grab the happiness in my palm.

You gave me hope but somehow you confused me.

I'm afraid to ask for clarity in our current situation.

Because I know the clarification might disappoint me.

I don't want to get hurt anymore as I'm already covered with scars.

I hope that you're the right one for me, I want stability.

I'll be waiting for your answer, I want to see myself in your eyes.

Illusion

Being alone for quite a while.

Suddenly in love, I couldn't withhold temptations.

I want the love to be real, despite chemical reactions.

I feel senses of affection and sexual attraction.

Sexual impulses couldn't be tamed.

You are just so irresistible and getting me obsessed.

A dazed state of mind that I fail to anchor on rationality.

Love creates illusion or love itself is an illusion?

Love and fear form reality.

Are we going on the right way?

What am I to you?

Happy Birthday Little YanYan♥

19th of April. It's my one and only sister, Joan's Birthday.

Happy Birthday to You.

Sadly, I'm sorry that I couldn't be with you on your birthday :(

We used to quarrel and fight when we were young.

For the next moment, we can be sticky-icky to each other.

You used to be afraid of me as I've always been harsh to you.

You used to ask me silly questions and I've always ignored you.

I always order you to do stuffs for me and you'll do it without complaining.

You love to share happiness to me, share your dissatisfactions and everything.

You love to share your favorable Korean songs to me, knowing that I'm not a big fan of them.

You help me in everything, especially when you babysit Cynthia for me.

You enjoy cooking spaghetti for me, and you want me to taste your bakeries.

We always crave for delicious cakes and snacks.

We always do stupid and idiotic stuffs together and will laugh out loud after that.

We both enjoy singing, although we know we couldn't sing really well.

Thank you so much, Joan.

I appreciate every moment with you.

For we are sisters forever.

I love you :)

Having Sex or Making Love?

Is there really a difference between having sex and making love?

You may had sex, may had been laid, may fucked. But, can you recall the last time when you made love? Some people might argue that there's no difference - physically, they are the same. However, emotionally, passionately and mentally, both deeds are very different.

If I am to answer this question, I believe, Yes there's a great difference - in term of emotions and intent. "Having Sex" is just simply a physical act on physical context. " Making Love" is beyond the realm of physical actions. Sex is wonderful to enjoy but Make Love is experiencing something, the feelings.

Sex is momentary and mechanical. You can just have sex with simply anyone, sex with strangers you hooked up in the club, sex with your ex or even sex with your friends. You only need orgasm in sex. There is no strings attached, no commitment and promise. You have sex just simply for the pleasure of it, or physical satisfaction. You get your sexual needs fulfilled in sex. There are just motions without emotions in sex.

Make Love is not in anyway just casual sex. You can only make love with the special one who loves you and vice versa. Emotions run in deep and you can feel the passion and love. Making Love is when 2 persons whom are in love with each other, connect bodies and souls together non-verbally in the intercourse. There is a chemical produced by the sexual hormones that interacts in the bodies creating a magnetic reaction. When you're making love, you feel like pleasing your partner.

So are you having sex or making love?

Security or Sparks

If you are given two options:

1. You are completely comfortable with your partner, both trustworthy. You're like living in a security blanket, fully pampered and cared by your partner. However, the love is not passionate enough, lack of romance and excitement.

2. You feel absolutely head over heels about the person, your heart aches for him/her. Your mood swings because of him/her. Sparks fly, unlimited surprises but at the same time you're unsure of whether it will last.

Would you take the risk and choose sparks over security, or stick to the safe and secure one?

I have dilemma in this situation.

If I choose the first option, I will have a stable and committed man in my life. Mature enough to guide me and take care of me. I can be a baby girl in his arms. As I'm not a typical young girl so logically I need a guaranteed relationship. He will probably get everything well-prepared for me. I will live a comfortable and peaceful life with a great companion. But I might also be bored to tears for the rest of my life.

However, if I choose the second option, I will probably be sparked up everyday. Smiling after every text and call from him. I can have fire and passion in my relationship. I am still young. Settling down seems kinda far away from me though. In life there must be risks and who knows it might worth? I will experience all kinds of feelings - happiness, excitement, jealousy and sadness in a sparky relationship. Somehow this relationship might not be long-lasting and unstable enough as my sparkling partner might not be mature enough to overcome all the problems that eventually turn up.

How good if there's a combination of option 1 and option 2? As security alone is not enough but excitement alone is not enough either. If there's someone that makes me comfortable at the same time able to sparkle up my days and make me fall in love again and again, that will be my ideal Mr. Right. Perhaps life doesn't really go on as what you wanted to.

So what's your choice?

Unrevealed Beautifulness

This is just so beautiful and graceful

Evasion

I was too coward to face my feelings.

The feeling of shame and regrets;

Evade me from sharing thoughts.

Hence, I set my blog aside.

I have no idea what I've been doing.

Am I just wasting my youth?

All along I've been crazy in love.

Whereby I still have so much more;

Family, Friends, Studies, Joy.

I'm dumb enough to forget about these.

I should live my life with joy.

Love should be blissful.

If I feel miserable in love;

That's not true love but disaster.

Do not let the future you to hate the current you.